The first thing you notice when you get off the plane at Macarron airport are the slot machines that you walk by before you even get your bags. They stand there taunting you as if to say “you may as well leave all of your money right here and get back on the plane to wherever you just came from because that is what is going to happen anyway.”
And then it begins.
Vegas is heaven and hell at the same time. Its 24 hour a day fun. Sleep is an afterthought. As a matter of fact, its virtually impossible to sleep in Vegas. In three nights, I slep a *combined* six hours. I mean, I’m only there for three days I can sleep when I get home right? Besides, if I go to sleep I’ll miss out on something. Vegas never stops. Which is why I would never recommend going there for longer than three nights. Your body just can’t handle it.
The interesting thing about Las Vegas is that everyone is on the take. Money makes this town go ’round, and people aren’t shy about it. It started when I checked into the MGM Grand. When I booked my room online I said that there would be 2 people in a room, because the rate was cheaper. When I checked in and asked for 3 keys per room, the guy at the desk said it would be an additional $40 per person per night. Logically, I asked him if he could let that slide and his response was “so you are saying that you want me to save you some money?” Which was really his way of saying “sure, no problem, as long as you slip me a $20, I don’t know anything.” Which is exactly what I did. I gave him $20 and he ignored the fact that we were going to be four in a room. That was just the begining. Everywhere you go in vegas there is somebody waiting to be greased. It doesn’t matter if they are a doorman, club promoter, dealer, cab driver or whatever, people in Vegas expect to be tipped/greased/rewarded for every and any little thing they do for you and they are not shy about it.
Friday night we had a V.I.P table at Pure in Caesar’s. Now for those of you who are unfmiliar with Pure, or are think you heard of it but are not sure why, Pure is probably on of the hottest clubs in the country. Its where Brittney/Paris/Tara Reid/[insert name of filthy whore here] hang out. Its imposible to get into. Its even more impossible if you are a group of 12 guys which is what we happened to be. Unless you roll V.I.P style in which case they know you are going to spend a ton of money and its ok if you come in. But you can’t just walk up and say you want a V.I.P table, you have to know someone. Luckily for me, I know a guy through a friend that is a promoter there. I told him we were coming and he set us up with a V.I.P table right on the floor in the main room. Prime Real Estate. Now, for getting us this table we of course need to tip him.
Usually I would slip him $100, but because he got us an extra special table I thought we should give him something extra. I tipped him $250. All he did was reserve us a table. When he brought us to the table and I gave him his tip he looked at me and flat out told me we were being cheap. He said that those tables get $400 tips. Being that I didn’t want to be cheap and I may want him to hook me up again in the future, I forked over another $100. He got $350 and the night hadn’t even started yet. So now our hotter than hot waitress comes over and brings us a drink menu. Being that there were 12 of us, we were required to buy four bottles. (one per every three people) The cheapest one on the menu was $475. A $35 bottle of grey goose was going for $550. Now, being that this is not something you do all of the time, and this is one of the few times that you get to be the guy on the other side of the ropes, you pay whatever it is and deal with it. Our bill for the night ended up being $4,003 which included a $670 tip (which was already built in to the bill). The night ended up costing everyone about $350/person. Way more than most reasonable, rational people would want to spend for a night out, but this was different. We were paying for the experience of being on the other side of the the giant bouncers and for one night, it was worth it. Vegas Baby, Vegas.